August 6, 1934 - March 13, 2007

Beloved mother to Lynn and Rick, dear mother-in-law to Holly and David, loving Grammy to Alexandra, Hunter, Tyler and Madeleine, wife to Ward Melby, Richard Tyler and Mike Fortman, loving sister to Melba, Georgia and Gerry, doting aunt to Jennifer, Sara and Kate, kind step-mother to John and Mary Fortman, wonderful daughter to Alpha and George Deters, cherished friend to many.

Life Roles: Homemaker, elementary school teacher, landlady, actress, philosopher, student of ethical living and positive thinking, and quintessential hostess-with-the-mostess.

Passions: Morning AA "attitude adjustment meetings," voracious reading, writing, friendships, enjoying the smartest grandchildren in the world, and the teaching of eternal truths.

Hobbies: Playing the piano, cooking, sewing, making quilts, gardening, yoga, riding her bike, participating in community theater, traveling the world, making herself useful, and napping.

Places She Lived: Spring Grove (Minnesota), San Francisco (California), Lakewood (Washington), Studio City, North Hollywood, Palm Springs and Ventura (California)

Maxims:
1. One day at a time
2. Acceptance is the answer to all your problems.
3. Have an attitude of gratitude.

Religion: None. But there was talk of a higher power. Like gravity, maybe.

Favorite Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the power to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

From Gerry and Karen, delivered by their daughter Kate at the memorial)

Dear Family and Friends of Marilyn,

Gerry and I regret that we won't be able to hug and be hugged, weep and join you as you gather together to honor the memories of Marilyn. Story upon story will be shared and bring happy thoughts of times spent with her. Pure affection allows me to share my experiences with this exceptional, and yet beautifully flawed, human being.

1. She gave of herself without complaint or reservation. How many of us have heard her tell a table full of friends and/or family that she wanted to pay the tab because she had a bunch of new money burning a hole in her pocket.

2. After she’d done all she could, she’d do more. After a brief sermon and a not so subtle chastisement, she would do whatever she could to help you out of some foolish predicament you might have gotten yourself into. But woe be onto you if you made the same mistake twice.

3. Family first was her mantra. Ricky and Lynn were her pride and joy. She was an example of love without conditions...and she had every right to be proud. Holly and David were welcomed into her life with wide open arms. And their offspring brought her a joy that held no measure. Motherhood, with all its complexities, appeared to come naturally to her, and she savored every moment of it. The love she had for her family was true and honest. Without sugar-coated words she expressed her devotion in a myriad of ways to all of us.

4. Marilyn was the consummate hostess. She demonstrated that fine china and sterling didn’t make a party. Give people good conversation, good food and something to gossip about on the way home. They’ll never notice the garage sale mismatched place settings and “interesting” flatware. Cloth napkins and a freshly ironed table cloth and, voila, eccentric elegance.

5. I remember a phone call from Marilyn many years ago. She said, I’m going to sew myself a hostess gown - pick up 3 yards of material and we’ll do it together!¨ I wore my hostess gown for years and years afterwards. She taught me that $3.00 of pink cotton can make you feel beautiful.

She leaves behind a legacy of many memories; her love of life, cheerfulness and positive outlook should give us all pause to take an accounting of our own attitudes.

Tusen taak, dear Marilyn, tusen taak.

With love, Gerry and Karen
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